


9.8 Metres Per Second Squared

by Kobayashi_Sakoori



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Memories, Romance, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4648350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobayashi_Sakoori/pseuds/Kobayashi_Sakoori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roughly based on the movie "5 Centimeters Per Second". The feelings Aomine and Momoi can’t share between each other causes them pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	9.8 Metres Per Second Squared

**Author's Note:**

> YES, THE TITLE IS A PHYSICS CONSTANT. YES, I AM WELL AWARE OF WHAT IT MEANS.
> 
> I got this idea sitting in one of my stupidly painful physics classes when my teacher tried to teach us how acceleration due to gravity works., but never wrote it until like a year later. I know this feel all too well.

We were friends. That was it. Just friends. Nothing more. Nothing less. I never knew I wanted to be more than just friends until now. What am I supposed to do now? What am I supposed to do with these feelings? It’s too late to say anything now. Can I really keep these feelings to myself now? Should I keep these feelings at all? Can I really move on now? She’s happy, isn’t she? Then why does she look so sad? Why doesn’t she look as happy as everyone else? Why are we the only ones not happy?

I met Momoi Satsuki at a playground on a midsummer day. It’s been almost 20 years, yet she hasn’t aged a day since then. She was sitting alone on the bench, staring at the leaves. I have never seen her before in my life until that point. She wasn’t playing with anyone else at the park and no one came up to her. She looked alone. I gathered all my courage and went to sit beside her on the bench. She looked at me briefly and then continued to stare at the leaves. I didn’t want to say much, but I had to make it less awkward.

“Why are you staring at the leaves?” I asked.

“Look up.” she pointed. “See the light that’s filtering through the leaves?”

I moved my head to look up at the leaves. “Yeah. What about them?”

“Komorebi.”

“What’s so cool about komorebi? It’s literally everywhere.”

“It’s special. Komorebi has no translation in other languages.”

“Really? I never knew.”

“There are a lot of words that just can’t be translated from their original language.” She turned to look at me. “I’m Momoi Satsuki. I just moved here. Nice to meet you!”

“Aomine Daiki. I’ve been here for a while.”

“Nice to meet you, Dai-chan!”

* * *

I didn’t see Satsuki for a while after our initial meeting under the tree until I saw her watch some people play street basketball. I had a basketball in hand and I was heading to the street court to shoot some hoops for fun when I saw her have her face pressed against the fence, watching the high schoolers use the court. She seemed so into it that it looked like she wasn’t breathing. I approached her and tapped her on the shoulder. She jolted up and turned around. When we made eye contact, she pouted.

“I was watching that.” she answered.

“Sorry. Just checking to see if you’re alive, Satsuki.”

“Dai-chan, please.” she turned around and crossed her arms.

“Whatever you say, Satsuki. I’m going to shoot some hoops.”

“You play basketball, Dai-chan?” she wondered.

“Not really. I’m not into competitions.” I admitted.

“Oh. I see. Competitions are more fun. It’s cool to see the pretty numbers when players get on the court and watch them change as they play.”

“You see numbers?” I asked, surprised.

She looked down and began moving her foot in circles. “Yeah! It’s really cool, but my mommy says I shouldn’t tell others about it because it sounds weird and no one else understands because no one else can see it.”

“It’s okay. I believe you. It’s actually cool. Maybe when we get older, you can do my math homework for me!”

“Dai-chan!”

“I’m joking, Satsuki!”

I didn’t know what synesthesia was at the time and I still don’t really know, but Satsuki’s ability to see numbers out of nowhere was really helpful to my development as a player.

* * *

One day, during the spring break before we were starting the second grade, I was playing in a stream with Momoi. She wanted to look at the crystal clarity of the water and I wanted to look for something interesting. The cherry trees were in full bloom, petals being carried off by the wind and landing in the water. They danced in the air before falling down to be carried off by the weak current of the stream. That day was like a poem and I was like that idiot in a Japanese lit class who couldn’t understand the art that was poetry.

“Dai-chan! Quit digging around in the water! It’s cold today!” I heard Momoi shout from the side.

I felt something squirming past my legs, so I quickly dunked my hand into the water and grabbed it. I pulled it out and found a frog. “Hey, Satsuki! I found a frog!” I held it up for her to see. “Look at how warty it is!” I climbed out of the stream to show her a close up.

“Ew! That’s slimy and gross. Why do you like frogs so much, Dai-chan?”

“I don’t. They look cool, but I don’t like them.”

“Let it go, Dai-chan. We should go home soon. I think my mom’s making us egg sandwiches today!”

“Okay. I’ll just- Ow!” I was stung by a bee and flung my hand up. The frog flew in the air and landed on Momoi’s head.

Momoi stopped and moved her hands up to feel the top of her head. She felt the frog and screamed as she flung her hands around to get it off. Once the frog hopped off her head, she began to cry.

“Waaaaaaaaaaaa! Dai-chan! That wasn’t funny!”

“Wait! Satsuki I can explain!”

“You’re so mean, Dai-chan!!” she screamed at me as she ran off.

“Satsuki!” I ran after her, ignoring the stupid pain in my hand.

I eventually caught up to her and she was still crying about the frog on her head. I sat down beside her and she turned around so I was talking to her back.

“Satsuki, sorry.”

Momoi turned her head to look at me and then shifted her body to face me. “It’s okay, Dai-chan! I can’t stay mad at you! You’re my friend!”

* * *

Most of our childhood passed by like the fleeting blossoms in the spring until we reached our last year in elementary. I hate the school system here because they literally made standardized testing such a huge thing. Everything revolves around these stupid tests. How well you do on this test determines the middle schools you can go to. Once you enter that middle school, you can only go to certain high schools. It sucks. The pressure just kills you. That’s what happened to me and that’s why I dragged Satsuki with me, but that’s a later story.

It was a freezing cold, almost Hokkaido-like winter in Tokyo. It was some day in December, but I had a feeling that it was before the Christmas break. Satsuki and I were in the school’s library; I was trying to get some sleep while Satsuki was organizing books.

“Man, do you have to be so loud when you put away books, Satsuki? I wanna sleep. Studying sucks.”

“Books are only noisy if you let them be, Dai-chan.”

I watched her put away the books on the higher shelves to see if she needed help or not. She stood on her tip toes to push a book into the shelf, but she was dropping the rest of the books in her hands. The stool she was standing on was unstable and it began to wobble. She quickly lost her balance and was about to fall, so I jumped up and ran to catch her.

“Ah!”

I caught her just in time as the stool fell over. “I got you, Satsuki.”

She got all teary-eyed. “That was scary…”

“Obviously. Idiot, what would I do if you split your head open and bled everywhere? There aren’t any teachers around right now!”

“Sorry, Dai-chan. I should have asked for your help.”

“It’s okay, Satsuki. You didn’t hurt yourself at least.”

“Yeah.” She stood up and brushed herself off. “Now, do you wanna go back to studying or do you wanna dream?”

“Dream?”

“Yeah! Let’s dream!”

“About what, Satsuki?”

“Life! You know, the boring stuff adults always talk about. Careers and where we wanna live and other stuff.”

“If I study with you, can we not talk about this stuff?”

“Hmm…” she said as she pondered. “Okay! Let’s start with math, because it’s boring. Or we could do science! Or what about kanji?”

I’ve never seen Satsuki get so excited about studying before, but she wanted the best for me. She always badgered me to study and to do well on this exam. I got so tired of her nagging, but it paid off. I passed the middle school entrance exam and just made the cutoff for Teikou. Momoi finished top of our school and she got scouted for by all these big and expensive middle schools, but she decided to go to Teikou with me because she didn’t want to be alone.

* * *

 My basketball really picked up during puberty and soon enough, I was part of an all-star middle school team for Teikou. Satsuki stuck by my side and helped me improve my basketball when we got accepted into Teikou and I could feel myself getting stronger and stronger the more I trained and the more I played. I didn’t even realize how fast I made it to the first strings after attending Teikou for a few months.

Satsuki and I always had the same routine every morning. I meet up at her house, we walk to school together, eat lunch and then we go to basketball practice after classes before we walk home. That was the same daily routine every day in middle school. We grew apart kind of when we started middle school. She started calling me ‘Aomine-kun’ because she was scared that everyone else would think that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Honestly I didn’t mind if people thought we were a couple, but I did mind a lot when she started calling me ‘Aomine-kun’. I felt betrayed. I never stopped calling her ‘Satsuki’, but her not calling me ‘Dai-chan’ anymore was just really upsetting. I wasn’t too fond of that name but still.

I didn’t focus on the matter a lot and I just continued to play and have her as my analytical support. We were going to play in the gym one day when some kids from the badminton team told us we couldn’t play in the gym while they trained for a Spring Shuffle. Disappointed, but still hopeful, I decided to look for somewhere else to play when Satsuki suggested that we try this old gym on the other side of the campus. She then warned me about a ghost that haunts the gym.

“There’s a ghost in that gym, Aomine-kun.” she said in a serious tone. “Be careful.”

I bursted out laughing. “You can’t be serious, Satsuki. There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

“I’m serious! There is a ghost!” she protested. Her phone started to ring and she checked it. “I have to go, Aomine-kun. I’ll see you later!” she said as she ran off.

“See you tomorrow, Satsuki.”

I walked into the gym and it was dark. None of the lights were on, so I felt around on the wall beside the doorframe to see if I could find the light switch. Suddenly feeling a lump, I flicked it upwards, making all the lights turn on. No one was in the gym, but I could hear the sound of a basketball hitting the floor. It sent shivers down my spine and I shuddered. ‘There can’t be a ghost.’  I thought. ‘That’s not possible.’

“Excuse me, but do you need something?” I heard a voice from behind.

I turned around. Standing behind me was this short kid with blue hair and these really big, almost bug-like eyes. I freaked out and started screaming.

“Who the hell are you?!?!?!?”

“I’m Kuroko Tetsuya. Who are you?”

“Kuroko?” I thought about his name for a bit. “Aren’t you part of the third strings?”

“Yes, but I’m trying to make it to the first strings. Now, who are you?”

“I’m Aomine. Aomine Daiki. Also part of the basketball team.”

“Aomine, huh? You’re one of the first years who’s on the first strings. I’ve heard of you before, Aomine-kun.”

“So you play basketball, huh? Show me what you’ve got, Kuroko.”

It was from then on I met my ‘shadow’ and Satsuki’s future husband, Kuroko Tetsuya.

* * *

 I went out for ice cream with Tetsu and the other guys one day. Satsuki wanted to tag along, but she got called by her physics teacher and couldn’t meet up with us. We went ahead without her and got the ice cream at a nearby convenience store. I tend to get vanilla flavoured ice cream when I really don’t want ice cream but also don’t want to look like a jerk. Tetsu got a soda flavoured popsicle and eagerly ate it.

“You like soda flavoured popsicles, Tetsu?” I asked.

“No. I hate them, to be honest, but I hear they have a good chance at winning a free ice cream.” he answered. “I could save the free ice cream for another time, which is a good thing.”

“Oh? Smart thinking. I should do that next time.”

I didn’t realize how fast Tetsu could eat an ice cream bar until he held out the stick and told me “Look, Aomine-kun. I won.”

I gagged on my ice cream and stared at him with a blank expression. “T-tetsu… Y-you finished already…?”

“I won, Aomine-kun. This is a little exciting.”

“Well, congratulations, Tetsu.” I said.

I noticed Satsuki run up to us from the distance. She seemed in a hurry to tell me something. When she reached us, Tetsu gave her his popsicle stick. Judging by her immediate reaction, she seemed annoyed, as if he gave her garbage. The she flipped the stick over and was immediately frozen and in awe.

“Oi, Satsuki. Are you okay?” I asked.

“Momoi-san? Are you okay?” Tetsu copied.

“I-I y-yeah I’m f-fine. T-totally f-fine!” was her bad reply. “T-t-t-t-t-t-t-thank you for the popsicle stick, K-Kuroko!”

I wanted to hit myself in the face after what I just saw. This really was the first time I saw Satsuki act all flustered like this. It was kind of cute to see her like that.

She spent the rest of the time talking with Tetsu until we all decided it was really late and that we should get home. I walked Satsuki home and we had a short conversation about why she stayed behind.

“So, Satsuki. Why did Mr. Shijima ask you to stay behind?”

“I asked him a question about gravitational physics a while back, but he never got back to me about it until now.”

“Gravitational physics? Satsuki, That stuff’s for high school.”

“I know, but it’s really important to understand gravitational physics. It plays a vital role in basketball and as well as everyday life.”

“Then tell me what you learned about gravity.”

Satsuki sighed. “You know, Aomine-kun, science has explained a lot of things, but it still can’t explain why we fall in love.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. See, when I was talking with Mr. Shijima about gravity, he said that everything is constantly accelerating downwards by gravity. The reason why we don’t feel it is because the Earth is constantly falling too. Falling towards the sun, but it’s also not falling.”

“Isn’t that called ‘orbit’?”

“Yeah!” She looked up at the sky. The stars were out, which is weird, now that I think about it. We both saw a shooting star.

“A shooting star? Isn’t that nice.”

“Aomine-kun,” Satsuki began. “do you know what’s the acceleration due to gravity on Earth?”

“No, Satsuki. I don’t really care much about physics yet.”

“It’s 9.8 metres per second squared. That’s what acceleration due to gravity is on the Earth. Everything that falls on Earth will accelerate at 9.8 metres per second squared, if air resistance didn’t exist.”

“What a weird number. Who the hell came up with that?”

Satsuki continued to walk ahead of me. “You know, Aomine-kun, if the acceleration due to gravity is 9.8 metres per second squared, how fast can one accelerate falling in love?”

I blinked. “What?”

She turned around and smiled at me. “Nothing! That didn’t really make sense at all. Oh well.”

We continued to walk until we reached her house. The lights were still on and Satsuki’s mother was outside, watering the flowerbed beside the entrance to the house.

“Oh. Daiki-kun! It’s been a while!” her mother called out when she saw us.

“It’s been a while, ma’am.” I replied.

“Hi mom! Thanks for walking me home, Aomine-kun!” Satsuki beamed. “See you tomorrow!”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” I said as I left.

Satsuki’s random physics gibberish ran through my head that night. What the hell did she mean by ‘how fast you could accelerate falling in love’? I didn’t understand what she meant. It didn’t bother me much at all. It just ran through my head as useless information because I lacked the knowledge to understand it. I fell asleep with that thought on my mind, but it took me five years too late to understand what she really meant.

* * *

 I think it was during our second year at Teikou when that bastard Kise overheard Momoi ask Tetsu out on a date and Tetsu agreed to it.

“Come on, Aominecchi! Momocchi asked Kurokocchi out and he said yes! We have to follow them!” he annoyingly shouted in my ear.

“Dammit, Kise. I don’t care. Why do I have to go?!”

“Because Momocchi is our friend? Isn’t she also your childhood friend too?”

I sighed. “You owe me, Kise.”

“Yeah yeah! Later though. Something’s happening right now!”

“What the heck are we doing?”

“It’s called ‘trailing’. Everyone does it!”

“Don’t use that tone with me!”

“But aren’t you curious, Aominecchi?” He peered over the corner. “Look! Look!”

I looked over to where Kise was pointing and I saw her meet up with Tetsu. Out of all the things she could have worn, she wore a rather expensive and fancy dress that really made her boobs stick out. Tetsu, on the other hand, wore jeans and a white T-shirt.

“A white polo and jeans?! Really, Kurokocchi?!”

“Damn, he really didn’t think it was a date.”

“Is it just me or is Kurokocchi more transparent than usual?” Kise asked me.

“Does it really matter? They look less like a couple and more like her royal highness and her pet.”

We followed them around and watched other guys hit on Satsuki because no one noticed Tetsu. They went to a restaurant and we had to wait outside to avoid attracting suspicion. A cop saw Kise acting suspicious and decided to interrogate him. Not wanting to be in that mess, I backed off and waited. They came out of the restaurant sooner than anticipated and some guys were drooling over Satsuki. I only did what my instincts told me to do; get into a fight with them.

“What are you doing, hitting on her? Go look for someone else, douchebag!” I said as I kicked them aside.

Kise caught up to me and he kept staring at the two. He was really fixated on the two and I rolled my eyes.

“Hey, Aominecchi.” Kise began.

“What, Kise?”

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? The whole Kurokocchi and Momocchi thing.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I thought you guys had a thing in the past and all.”

“What?! The hell?! Never! I never liked her!”

“Really? I see…”

We watched as Tetsu ditched Satsuki. Kise overreacted and I just sighed. Just because he disappeared doesn’t mean he abandoned her. Tetsu would never do that. He returned a moment later with an abnormally large ghost plush, which he gave to Satsuki. She was starstruck and all excited about it. Kise sighed and got up from our hiding spot.

“Well, it went well. See you later, Aominecchi!”

“You bastard! You owe me!”

Later that night, Satsuki came over to my house to show me the plush she got from Tetsu.

“Look, Aomine-kun! Look at what Tetsu got me!”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I replied. “First name basis already?”

“No.” she pouted. “Tetsu still calls me ‘Momoi-san’, even though I keep telling him that he can call me Satsuki.”

“Oh? Is that so? He just takes time. That’s all.”

I kept thinking about what Kise said to me. He thought we had a ‘thing’ before middle school and that’s why she addresses me as ‘Aomine-kun’; because it fell apart. Honestly, it bothered me when it shouldn’t have. She was happy, so I should be happy for her. It didn’t matter anyways. Tetsu was a good guy. He would never hurt Satsuki.

* * *

Our years at Teikou came and flew, like the colours of the leaves in autumn. I started to grow apart from my friends, including Satsuki. I became too strong and I let my arrogance get to me. The so-called ‘Generation of Miracles’ was nothing but a marketing sham for the school. Sure, we were the strongest, but it didn’t matter to me. I don’t care about the team being strong. I only cared about me.

High school entrance exams came around and I was stressing badly about it. I’ve never actually cared before in my life, but now, I felt like it mattered no matter what. All the potential schools I could make were overwhelming. There were a lot of university preparatory schools, private schools, athletic schools, and art schools in Tokyo, yet I wasn’t sure which would be best for me. They all required high marks on the entrance exam and I really could care less about how well I do on it. It only matters how strong their basketball team is.

High schools far and wide tried to scout me to join their teams, but they all sucked. I hated how desperate and needy they all were for attention. They wanted me, the power forward of Teikou, to join their shitty basketball teams so they have a chance to make the Winter Cup. It’s just so annoying. It was then I decided that the only school that didn’t come up to me and beg was the school I would go to.

And that school was Touou Academy.

Initially, Satsuki was confused as to why I didn’t choose another school that was better. She told me that Touou sucks at basketball and she was perplexed.

“They didn’t beg me, so I’m going to Touou.”

“But Aomine-kun, you have so much potential. Why don’t you go somewhere else?”

“I’m annoyed with needy people, Satsuki.”

“Is that so?” she said. “Well, I’m thinking of going to Seirin High. They got a really wonderful chemistry program there.”

“Are you sure you’re not going to Seirin because of Tetsu?”

Satsuki blushed when I mentioned his name. “N-no. Well… M-maybe…”

I got up from my seat. “Do whatever you feel is right, Satsuki. I don’t care either way.”

I was really bothered by what she said, but I didn’t let it show. I can’t believe who would go to Seirin just because of Tetsu. I mean, I don’t support their ‘relationship’ but I’m not against it either. She’s just confused about her emotions. That’s all. I just reassured myself with lies because I didn’t want to accept reality. I didn’t love her back then, so why was I so bothered by it?

* * *

Satsuki never went to Seirin. She did a last minute switch into Touou because she’s ‘worried about me causing trouble’. I felt bad, but relieved when I found out we were going to the same high school. It was nice to have her go to Touou. Their sciences are more developed than Seirin’s, which was perfect for her. It was also selfish of me to keep her from going to a better school for what she wanted to do, like how Akashi got scouted by Rakuzan, which is the top school for a lot of things.

Satsuki grew more distant from me when we got to Touou. She still called me ‘Aomine-kun’, much to my disgust. I still called her Satsuki though. We still walked to and from school together. She became the manager of the basketball team at Touou as well. I continued to skip practice. She continued to yell at me. I continued to play, but I felt unsatisfied the more and more I played. I’ve sat out for games at times because I didn’t want to play. The team was strong on its own. They didn’t need me. I was always a reserve.

Satsuki developed her Intel a lot when we started school at Touou. Day in and day out, she would keep talking more and more about the data she has and the amount the team has improved. I didn’t care. I just put up with it because it’s the only conversation we have these days. Satsuki didn’t go visit Tetsu during the first semester, but after the Interhigh prelims, she left one day to go to the Aida Sports Gym. At first, I questioned why she would go to the gym. Then I ran into Midorima on the streets. He told me that he saw Satsuki walk into the gym and coincidentally, Tetsu and his team was at the gym.

“Oh. Aomine. It’s been a while.” Midorima acknowledged.

“Midorima.” I nodded.

“If you’re looking for Momoi, she’s at the Aida Sports Gym.”

“Why would I be looking for her?”

“You have that look on your face. You’re easily predictable.” he answered. “Plus, your horoscope said that you would be in pursuit of a person, so I thought I’d help you, since you have the worst luck today.”

“Um, okay? I’ll keep that in mind when I actually start to believe in that load of crap.”

He shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m just trying to help.”

Midorima’s sudden appearance caught me off guard. How the hell could a stupid horoscope predict what I was currently doing? I never understood that Midorima. Always an enigma and always a gullible idiot. But it got me thinking. I wondered if Satsuki still had any importance to me and I wondered why I still chased after her, even though I don’t like her.

* * *

 Back during the Interhigh, I injured my leg and it wasn’t such a huge injury. Satsuki overreacted and told the coach to bench me and let’s just say I didn’t react well to this.

“Satsuki! See what you’ve done?! I’m not even injured! I don’t need you meddling in whatever I do!” I yelled.

“But you know what you’ll be facing when you meet Akashi-kun in the finals! You may-”

“That’s what I meant when I said I don’t need your meddling! You’re not my guardian or anything!” I said. By now, I was in a full on rage mode. “I don’t want to see you again! You or your ugly face!”

Satsuki started to cry and she threw her clipboard at my jaw. “Yeah!! I had enough of you already!! You and your grotesque face!!” she screamed at me as she ran away.

I never meant to make her cry. I still feel awful about it to this day, but I know now that I can’t change that fact. I can’t make amends to what I did.”

* * *

 Satsuki’s stupid speech on the acceleration due to gravity suddenly made sense to me after Touou’s loss in the first round of the Winter Cup. I felt the world spin as it orbited around the sun and the gravity below me pulled me down faster and faster. It only was a psychological feeling, but the physical manifestations were something entirely different.

After the match, the entire team was sulking about it, including me. I decided to get out of the negative environment and walked outside of the stadium. Satsuki went looking for me and eventually found me.

“Oh geez! There you are! Seriously, don’t go disappearing by yourself! Come on! let’s go back to the others!” she scolded.

“Hey, Satsuki, are you free tomorrow?” I asked.

“Well..” she began.

“Wanna go shopping together?”

“Huh?! Well… Sure, but… Huh?! Why so suddenly…?”

“I want to get new basketball shoes.” I sighed. “I wanna practice…”

Satsuki must’ve smiled at that point. “Okay… Let’s go! Dai-chan!” She turned around. “But buy me food, okay?”

“Huh?!”

It was then I felt so happy. For the first time in almost four years, Satsuki finally called me ‘Dai-chan’ again. It felt nice. It felt so familiar and friendly.

* * *

 After Yosen lost to Seirin, I ran into Murasakibara outside as everyone was leaving the stadium. He was back to his usual self of binging on trash food.

“Oh. Mine-chin. Long time no see.” he greeted.

“Don’t call me that!” I shouted.

He laughed and then began to look at me. “Sa-chin’s not with you?”

“Who the hell is Sa-chin?”

“Uh…” he thought for a while. “That girl who’s always with you?”

“Satsuki? What about her?”

“She’s not with you today?”

“No. She’s with Tetsu.”

“Oh. Kuro-chin? I see. Are they dating now?”

“Hardly. It’s one sided. Tetsu doesn’t seem to like her.”

“You’d be surprised, Mine-chin.” he said as he held out a box of Pocky. “Want one?”

“No. Strawberry Pocky is the worst.”

“Suit yourself.” he replied as he continued to eat that trash. “You know, Mine-chin, you should think deeply about their relationship.”

“Why?”

“Why not? It’s interesting. Relationships are fun.” His cell phone started to ring and he took it out to check it. “I have to go. Maybe we’ll meet each other again, Mine-chin.”

Murasakibara’s conversation pissed me off. It irked me, but I didn’t forget it easily.

* * *

 During the semifinals of the Winter Cup, I went out with Satsuki to a café. Just a friendly outing, but everyone around us thought we were a thing, which I didn’t mind and Satsuki didn’t notice.

“Hey, Satsuki...” I began. “Do you believe in fate?”

Satsuki choked on her drink and stared at me blankly. “What?” She quickly put her hand on my forehead. “What are you saying...? What are you saying…?!” she panicked.

“I don’t have a fever, idiot!” I sighed. “I know it’s not like me to say something like that. Recently, it occurred to me, but is it really just a coincidence that we, the ‘Generation of Miracles’, and Tetsu happen to come together at the same time? There’s no way I’d know whether there’s any meaning to it, but I have a feeling. How were we the same team together, and then later become enemies.... Then we all gathered at this competition. And, if something like fate exists, the fact that he appeared before us; someone who has all the qualifications of being a ‘Miracle’, yet didn’t become one of the ‘Generation of Miracles’.”

Satsuki listened to me ramble on and on about Kagami and how he could have been one of us. She kept thinking about what I was saying until I finished my speech.

“You know, Dai-chan, fate is just a thing that only humans experience.” she said. “Other animals don’t believe in fate. They don’t have religions. They don’t have an economy or clothes. They don’t have any of those things. Those things are only unique to humans.”

“So you don’t believe in fate? You think it’s a coincidence?”

She shook her head. “I can’t really believe that fate does exist, but I can’t deny the fact that it doesn’t.” She played with the straw she was drinking from. “I believe that there are multiple universes out there. And I also believe that we’re constantly moving between these universes, which I believe is also the reason we have déjà vu.”

“The multiverse theory?” I asked.

“Yes. I believe that we’re in a timeline where the meeting of the ‘Generation of Miracles’ was supposed to happen. The meeting was inevitable. It wasn’t fate that brought us together, but the universe.”

“That’s what you believe, Satsuki?”

“Wholeheartedly. I believe that this exists, though many physicists and mathematicians disagree with this probability.”

“Does that same theory apply with love, Satsuki?”

“What?”

“Does the multiverse theory apply with love, Satsuki?”

She stared at me and then she started to laugh. “Who knows, Dai-chan? Love is something even science can’t explain.”

“I see.”

“Love just does it’s own thing, Dai-chan. You can’t control who you fall in love with and you can’t control the pain you feel from that kind of love. You also can’t control how fast love can accelerate.”

I don’t know why, but I felt my heart sink inside me after that conversation. It was the first time my heart hurt me. I didn’t understand why talking about fate would hurt like this.

* * *

 After the Winter Cup finals, I caught Akashi talking with Satsuki about data. I knew he was upset about his loss to Tetsu and Seirin, but he pretending that it was nothing and talked with Satsuki. I kept my distance, knowing I wasn’t really welcomed, but I kept close and eavesdropped on the conversation.

“So, Satsuki, has your Intel improved a lot since you went to Touou?” Akashi asked her.

“I say it’s gotten a lot better, Akashi-kun.” she replied. “It’s gotten better and I’m faster at analyzing players now. You’ve improved a lot since our last encounter.”

“Not really. I still lost to Tetsuya. How’s Daiki doing? Are you guys dating yet?”

Satsuki got flustered. “No! We never liked each other!” she protested.

Akashi backed off. “Suit yourself. Tetsuya isn’t your boyfriend either, so who are you dating?”

“Tetsu-kun! I’m dating Tetsu-kun!”

“Really now?”

I didn’t know if Satsuki was actually serious because Tetsu still looked like a deadpan when around her. Does he even return her feelings?

* * *

 High school flew by, like butterflies in migration. It soon overwhelmed me and I began to feel depressed. So now, I have to face the real world and do something with my life. Basketball was becoming a bust. I didn’t want to make a career in playing because I’m going to retire young and never play again, which makes me more depressed the more I think about it. Should I continue anyways and play basketball, or should I continue on with my stupid childhood dream of being a cop? Or should I do something entirely different?

Satsuki’s so-called “relationship” with Tetsu advanced and got more intimate, for lack of better words. She spent every moment she could with him, and I didn’t mind initially, but it got so far that I’ve caught them making out on various occasions. I try to keep an unfazed demeanor when I see it, but it’s bothering me more and more.

I kept these feelings inside me. I didn’t know who to talk to, since the only person who would listen to me is the problem. I tried to write down my thoughts on a daily basis, but it didn’t work and I felt more angry doing it. Basketball wasn’t a venting method anymore. I was going to try drugs until I realized I was still considering a job in law enforcement, which wouldn’t be good. I eventually resorted to sleeping. It felt nice to sleep away problems, but eventually, it developed to the point where I would sleep for 20 hours a day and wake up for four hours. The doctors were worried that I got African sleeping sickness or Sleeping Beauty syndrome, but after stealing some blood from me while I was asleep, they only found an almost non-existent amount of serotonin in the blood work. The doctors told my mother that I had depression and she started to cry due to the stigma surrounding mental disorders.

Satsuki came to visit me with Tetsu three days after my diagnosis. They walked in on me swallowing handfuls of Abilify and ibuprofen.

“Dai-chan! What are you doing?!” Satsuki shouted.

“Taking medications??” I answered sarcastically. “I need to take more than required because of my body’s physique.”

Satsuki glared at me and Tetsu had his normal, blank expression.

“We came to check on you, Aomine-kun.” Tetsu finally said. “We heard about the diagnosis. Are you okay?”

“Yeah? Just tired. All the time.”

Satsuki began to cry. “Don’t lie to me, Dai-chan! I’m worried about you!”

I sighed. I was thinking of pulling her into a hug until Tetsu did it first.

“I’m not dying, Satsuki. I’ll be fine. Just give me a few days or something. I’ll get over it.”

“It’s okay, Momoi-san.” Tetsu reassured. “Aomine-kun is strong.”

We spent the rest of the time comforting Satsuki. I found a substance to abuse just to cope with the pain, but I realized it was too late. There was no point anymore. All these years of being with Satsuki. All these years of being her friend. All of these years of fighting, crying, laughing, having fun and playing basketball. It was too late.

I’m in love with Momoi Satsuki and it hurts because I can’t have her anymore.

* * *

Fast forwarding to now, I’m still depressed, but I’m still not really sure why now. Tetsu was getting married to Satsuki and he asked me to be the best man. Reluctantly, I agreed.

The ceremony was small. She only invited us, the ‘Miracles’, the Seirin and Touou basketball teams and a few of her friends. Tetsu’s expression never changed. Even as she walked down the aisle, he still had his blank, expressionless face. Everyone else was smiling at the two. Satsuki’s smile was so beautiful that day, but I could tell she was sad. I really didn’t want to be there, but I had to be. My best friend was getting married to my childhood friend and love interest. I had to go through the pain. I had to.

The ceremony ended quickly and Tetsu and Satsuki were legally married to each other now. My heart sank and I felt like I was going to die. I knew that I can’t change these things anymore. That this is forever. Satsuki was married to Tetsu and I wasn’t. I sat down at the reception, drinking excessive alcohol and taking pills. No one seemed to notice because they were all crowded around Satsuki and Tetsu as they shared their first dance. I watched from a distance, trying not to cry. They spent a long time just slow dancing until the song concluded and everyone else started to dance to the trash pop music Kise was playing. Satsuki walked up to me and sat down beside me and Tetsu was talking with the rest of his team.

“Dai-chan? You’re not going to join in?”

“No. I’m tired so I’m sitting out.”

“Tired? Do you wanna take a walk then, Dai-chan?”

I was reluctant to go, but I agreed to. We got up and walked away from everyone else. Satsuki lead us behind the church, where the wedding was held. We watched the sunset together and sighed.

“Satsuki-”

“No, Dai-chan. I need to tell you something first.”

“Tell me something? What is it, Satsuki?”

She took a deep breath and was shaking. I held her close to make her feel better.

“Daiki I loved you. I loved you from the first moment we met under the komorebi up until now. I still do, but I couldn’t keep loving you. It was too painful for me to continue to love you, so I tried to suppress the feelings by pretending to be in love with Tetsu-kun. Then that pretend love turned into actual love.”

“Satsuki…”

“I loved you, Aomine Daiki. I loved you and it hurts.”

I couldn’t believe that she said that. She loved me. And I loved her. And now we can’t be together because I couldn’t grow the balls to tell her how I felt all these years. I couldn’t tell her how I felt because I didn’t know I felt like this. It’s all my fault.

“Satsuki, I love you too. I always had and I always will, but I know we can’t be together like this anymore. You belong to Tetsu now. You can’t be with me.”

That statement just made her cry. I couldn’t hold back my own tears and began to cry as well. She was gone now. She wasn’t Momoi Satsuki anymore. She was Kuroko Satsuki. Not Aomine Satsuki. She can never be Aomine Satsuki.

“Satsuki, I’m sorry, but I have to go now. Maybe we’ll see each other again if we can put aside these feelings we once had for each other aside.”

“Kiss me, Dai-chan.”

“What? Satsuki, you know I can’t do that.”

Satsuki pulled on the collar of my shirt and pressed her lips onto mine. Initially, I was shocked, but I just held it there until she backed off. “You sure can’t, but I can.”

“Satsuki…”

She turned around to walk back to the party. “Goodbye, Aomine Daiki. My one true love. My best friend. My Dai-chan.”

I know there’s no turning back. She was gone from my life. Just like rain in Africa, she was gone.

Maybe in another universe, we’re together. Maybe then, her name would be Aomine Satsuki. Maybe in that world, I wouldn’t be hurting like this. Maybe in a past life, we were together. Maybe everything would have worked out if I told her how I felt. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this pain if I never talked to her that fateful spring day under the tree.

I now understand what she meant. She wanted to accelerate the speed at which she fell in love with Tetsu so she wouldn’t be so hurt by me not returning any of her feeling. Or maybe she meant she wanted to accelerate the speed of which I fell in love with her. I’ll never know. Not anymore, anyways. She’s not in love with me anymore. I’m not allowed to be in love with her anymore.

No. I don’t regret not meeting Momoi Satsuki. I never regretted it. I will always be her ‘Dai-chan’ and she will always be my ‘Satsuki’. I’ll just be forever watching her from a far distance as she falls deeper and deeper in love with Tetsu. 


End file.
